Forgetting You, Remembering Me
by Wasabi-san
Summary: -"You don't have to remember everything. You can create new memories. And I'll be right here." "Shut up, Axel."  Axel/Roxas HS AU  Please R&R.
1. On The Edge

A/N: I just finished playing 358/2 Days a few days ago, and I love that game. It makes me want to play the entire series all over again. Instead, this weird thing popped into my head. I've never written for Kingdom Hearts before – although I've read plenty of the fan fiction on here – and I've never really written anything like this before, either. But that's ok because I need to stop using situations in my actual life for fan fiction. So, here this is. I hope everyone enjoys this. By the way, this entire fan fiction is told by Roxas' POV.

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Am I swimming in the blackness? I really can't tell. I don't know how long I've been here; days, weeks, possibly my entire life. It's all I know at the moment. This cold, comforting blackness. Now I'm being hurled towards what I assume would be light, even though I can't really "see" anything. But I can sense it. I'm on the edge of consciousness.

And just like that, my eyes snapped open. My vision swam and my hearing was muffled. When my eyes finally decided to rest on something, I saw a man in a white coat standing above me with a very large needle. I felt the need to scream. Maybe I was screaming and just couldn't hear it.

Something in the back of my mind told me that the man was a doctor, but he's holding a large needle and that freaks me out a little. I saw other people prickling in the corner of my eye. I felt many pairs of hands hold my arms and legs down. Am I being restrained? I think that's the right word. Suddenly, my hearing snapped back into place. I could hear machines beeping, people shouting, and someone screaming. It took me a moment to realize that it was me screaming. I could tell I was going to have a booming headache later.

"Roxas! Roxas, it's alright! We're doctors, we're here to help you. I know a shot isn't what you want to wake up to, but it's just an antibiotic. The less you squirm, the less it'll hurt, ok?" The doctor said in a calming voice. My actions stopped. I felt my body sink into the bed, even though I wanted to keep fighting. The doctor smiled at me and motioned for the people to let go of me. The second they did, the doctor stabbed the needle into my arm. I let out a yelp as a few tears fell.

"See, Roxas, it's alright. One of your wounds got infected, so we decided to give you a little shot for it." The doctor calmly said. Roxas? Is he talking to me?

"Roxas... wounds... what? What's going on?" I suddenly yelled, now crying a lot more than any person should ever want to. I tried moving my hands up to wipe away the tears, but I couldn't. One arm had a gigantic cast on it, the other had various tubes and wires coming out of it. That sight only made me cry harder. The doctor sighed as he sat down on my bed, rubbing his hands through his hair.

"Roxas... you see-"

Before he could even think to finish his sentence, something on his belt started beeping like crazy. He quickly snapped it off and looked at it. The doctor quickly jumped off the bed.

"I'm sorry, Roxas, but I need to come back. There's been an accident and the ER is swarmed. I promise I'll come back as soon as I can, ok?" He quickly said. Before I could respond, he nodded his head in assumed agreement, turned on his heel and walked out the door. And now I'm lying in a hospital bed, alone and confused and scared. I stared up at the ceiling, the beeping of the machine next to me getting on my nerves. I lied there for what felt like ages, crying on and off. Eventually, I heard this loud banging noise from the hall and shouting.

"Let me see him! He's awake, right? So I can see him! Let go of me!" The screaming became more frantic and sounded closer to my room. All I could think about was hoping that this lunatic wasn't coming to my room. What luck I seem to have.

And then he stumbled in.

This tall, skinny guy with flaming red hair was now clutching to the door frame for dear life. His long face was contorted with panic as his brilliant green eyes darted all around the room. Finally, they rested on me. The second he registered that I was there, his face relaxed into a sad smile. The freak took a long step into the room, stumbling as he made his way over to me. I tried to speak up, say anything to get anyone's attention, but my voice caught itself.

"Roxas... Roxas, I'm so glad you're alive... I'm so sorry, more sorry than I've ever been in my life... Roxas..."

As he spoke, this lunatic slowly walked over to me, mumbling more to himself than to me. When he finally reached me, he leaned over me and kind of wrapped himself around me. I think it was an attempt at a hug, but it was really awkward since he was half-lying on me, half-standing. I would have tried to hug him back, but he was squishing me and I don't know who he is.

"Um... who's Roxas?"

He shot up off of me, his eyes all wild and wide. I could feel him shaking, his hands tightly holding onto my shoulders. I felt my eyebrows crinkle together, my mouth opening and closing as I searched for the right words to say. How do I make someone I don't know feel better?

"You... you're Roxas! Don't tell me you hit your head too hard." He exclaimed with a laugh. His half smile went away as my face remained in confusion.

"Hit... my head?" I trailed. His bright green eyes went wide again.

"Do you even know who I am?" He said, hurt dripping in his voice. I struggled to find the right words, words that wouldn't hurt his feelings, but none came to me. He pushed himself up off of me, waving his arms around. I'm sure if I knew who he was, it'd be hilarious.

"Can you please tell me what's going on?" I suddenly asked, feeling like breaking down in tears again for no reason.

"Axel! Axel! My god, we've only been best friends for forever! Do you remember anything?" Axel shouted. I couldn't tell if he sounded angry or sad. Probably an odd mixture of the two. I tried to prop myself up but just ended up hurting my arm.

"Answer my question! What's going on? I'm scared..." I trialed, tears taking over again. God, I've only been awake for, like, half an hour and I'm already tired of crying all the time. Seeing me break down in tears, Axel stopped his actions. His face relaxed into disbelief, his body sagging just a bit. I felt my face heat up as my sobs became harder to control. I closed my eyes after a moment, too embarrassed that I was crying. I heard Axel let out a sigh followed by some movement.

I felt a hand on my cheek, fingers wiping away my tears. My eyes snapped open. Axel was standing kind of above me with a sad smile on his face. His fingers kept ghosting over my skin. It sent shivers down my spine, but I'm not sure why. After an awkward moment of just staring at each other, he finally said something.

"You must be really hurtin' if you're crying, huh? C'mon, Roxas, you're tough shit."

And with that, something inside me just snapped. For a reason I don't know, that statement struck me as the funniest thing ever said in the world. I burst into laughter, tears falling as I squeezed my eyes shut. I think Axel was taken aback for a moment but he was laughing soon after. We were both two laughing idiots in a hospital.

After a moment, I stopped laughing. It took Axel an extra minute to stop, but he eventually did. He had this relaxed smile on his face as our eyes connected again. It made my heart stop and my face flush. It felt like something was prickling in my mind. Like a lost memory trying to find its way back.

"So, you really wanna know what happened?" Axel suddenly said. For some reason, I thought it was just my imagination. After another moment of awkwardly staring at each other, I nodded my head.

"Yeah."

000

Axel tried to explain his best what had happened. He just sucks at telling stories.

From what I gather, I was in some sort of car accident. Axel wouldn't tell me where I was going or what lead up to the accident. All I know is that I was alone in the car. Apparently, the car that hit me had faulty breaks. They stopped working, allowing him to go barreling down the hill and crash into me. It sounds like it wasn't that far from Axel's house - he said he was the first one there. He didn't tell me about my injuries, but that's ok.

"I was so scared, Roxas." He said in this real quiet voice once the story was over. I tried to say something but my voice was caught in my mouth. He looked so sad it just crushed my heart. Before I drew up the courage to actually say something, someone loudly walked into the room.

"I'm sorry that took so long, Roxas."

It was the doctor from before. He didn't really sound that sorry, but that's ok. Even though I'm mad that he just up and left, I'm sure he has a busy life. What am I kidding? I'm pissed.

"You don't sound sorry." I heard myself say. I didn't mean to say it out loud. Axel tried to hold back a laugh as the doctor eyed us.

"Axel, you know you're not supposed to be here." He said, choosing to ignore my comment. Axel's laughter stopped.

"I wasn't supposed to be here until he woke up. He's awake and asking some questions, doc." Axel shot back without missing a beat. I heard the doctor let out a big sigh as he pulled over a chair and sat down next to me. It felt kind of awkward.

"Roxas, I don't know how to say this-"

"I was hit by a car, blah blah blah. Now can you please tell me what my injuries are?"

The doctor looked shocked for a moment before giving Axel a sideways glance. The red head pretended to look away, but once the doctor wasn't looking he gave me a wink. I still don't quite understand his odd mannerisms but they're starting to grow on me. Now the attention was back on me.

"Your injuries are pretty basic. It's surprising you don't have more considering how serious the accident was. You have a few broken ribs on the left side, fractured left arm, lacerations on your chest, arms, and legs, bruising on your neck and collarbone, and post traumatic amnesia. There was some internal bleeding, so we had to fix that but it wasn't too bad. We also had to drill a small hole in your skull to relief some pressure, but that's all better now." The doctor read from his chart. He sounded so robotic and uncaring. Listening to the injuries I almost wanted to cry. They all sounded too painful to be mine.

"What's post traumatic amnesia?" Axel suddenly said. The doctor gave him another harsh look before closing the file folder.

"Have you even called Roxas' parents?"

"I should be asking you the same thing."

And just like that things became super awkward. My eyes kept flashing between the two. The doctor looked irritated and Axel looked like he was either going to scream or cry. Maybe a mixture of the two. The doctor let out a large sigh as he swiveled around in his chair and stood up.

"I should go give them a call. They left a short while ago to go check on the house. I know they'll be thrilled to see you, Roxas." He said. Even though his words were sincere, his voice wasn't. With that, he turned on his heel and left the room, leaving Axel and I alone. For some reason, that thought made me feel warm. I turned towards Axel, catching his eyes. There was this smile in them that made me feel even warmer.

"Do you remember anything about your parents?" Axel suddenly said. I stared dumbly at him for a moment as I tried to remember something, anything.

"No. I don't remember anything until close to an hour ago." I slowly said. That thought interested and terrified me at the same time. I heard Axel let out half of a laugh.

"Then you're gonna love this."

000

"Roxas, oh my dear Roxas, I've never been so happy in my life! Don't you dare do something like that again!"

"He couldn't help it."

"Oh, I know, but that doesn't stop me from worrying."

These people are crazy. There's no way in hell they're my parents.

It wasn't long after the doctor left the room that he returned with these two nuts. The first one to come running in was this woman with light brown hair pulled back into a bun. A few strands around her face were sticking out, adding to the 'crazy' factor. The second person to walk in was a tall and rather thin man. His hair was darker brown and all ratty looking. He quickly moved off to the side next to Axel. It was then the crazy lady latched herself onto me, crying and hugging me way too tight.

"Jane, I think you're crushing him." The skinny guy said with a small laugh. There's nothing funny about being crushed to death. She quickly let go, taking a step back and running her hands through her hair. I took a deep breath.

"Nice to see you still got the dreads, Tarzan."

"Axel, I just saw you yesterday." He replied with another laugh. Axel laughed along with him. Are they sure they aren't Axel's parents? He seems to get along with them better than I am, so far.

"Roxas, you look like you've seen a ghost." Jane said as he took another step towards me. She rested her hand on my shoulder and gave me a small, worried smile. I tried to find the right words to say.

"I… I-I don't-"

"He doesn't know who you guys are." Axel chirped up. Jane and Tarzan turned and stared at him. Jane looked crushed while Tarzan just looked worried. I guess I should call them 'mom' and 'dad', but that seems a little weird since I can't remember them.

"Roxas, is this true?" Jane – mom – said as she whipped her head back around to me. I feel like she's angry at me, but somewhere deep down inside I know she's not. I swallowed real hard before nodding my head.

"Yeah… I'm sorry."

Before either of them could say any more, the doctor strode into the room. He said a bunch of stuff to my parents and ignored Axel and I. That's ok, though. I just like sitting here in silence with Axel. Even though I'm only ben awake for about an hour and a half, it feels like I could do or say anything around him and it wouldn't matter.

After a few moments of the doctor talking to my parents, he said something about needing to speak to them in private and they stepped outside the room. Now it's just Axel and me in here. For some reason, it felt a little awkward. Axel snorted as he stood up from his chair and stood beside me.

"You've got a nice bald patch on the side of your head." He said with a little laugh. I don't remember what a 'bald patch' is. It made me panic, though.

"Bald patch?"

"You haven't looked in the mirror have you?" Axel asked. I blushed as I shook my head. Axel walked around my bed to the doctor's counter on the other side of the room and grabbed something out of one of the drawers. He brought it over to me and held it up in front of my face.

I stared back at two bright blue eyes. Blonde hair curved up and out of my head. It made me feel like a rooster. I stared at my eyes. There were horrendous dark circles around them. Line came out of the corners of my eyes as well. I turned my head to the side, looking for this bald patch. There, on the left side of my head. I groaned as I stared at it for another minute. Setting the mirror down, I turned as stared at Roxas.

"Now I look stupid."

"With that haircut, you always looked stupid." I pouted at him while Axel just laughed. There was nothing funny with what he just said.

"This is going to suck, isn't it? I'm either going to have to remember everything of make up a whole new life."

"Either way, you better get your shit together. School starts in two weeks."

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I know this ended really sudden, but that's ok. Just so you all know, I worked on this all summer at very random times, so I'm sorry if some of the ideas don't connect right. I really just wanted to finish the first chapter before school started. So let me all know what you think! It's a brand new story, so I'd love to hear some feedback!


	2. Monkey House

A/N: Wow, I went and reread the first chapter for, you know, motivation. And my god I need to stop writing at three in the morning. Anyway, this school year I have Creative Writing, so being in that class makes me think of a lot of awesome stuff for this story! I'm not 100% sure where this is going yet (kind of), but we'll get there. Thank you everyone that has read this and those few who left a review! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

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I stared across the table At Tarzan – my dad – and tried my best not to say anything really mean. This is a little weird.

I left the hospital less than a week after I woke up. You'd think that after all the surgery I had, they'd keep me a little bit longer. But no. Maybe they needed the space, or maybe they just didn't care all that much since I wasn't dead. Either way, I had mixed emotions about leaving.

Seeing Axel in the hospital was the best part. He'd visit be every day, all day. He'd talk about things that we had done together. We'd laugh and talk about the things we'd do once I got out. Sometimes, talking about the past, I'd feel like I knew what he was talking about. Of course I still can't remember anything. But it seemed familiar and that gives me hope.

At first I was really self conscious about the bald patch thing. I was scared that people would give me weird looks at school or out in public. Axel laughed at me and told me not to worry. He said that people shave their heads all the time for random reasons. And besides, mostly everyone at school already knew about the accident. Well, only the ones that matter, he said. That gave me a little comfort followed by a new sort of panic. I must have other friends besides Axel. How can I explain to them that I don't remember them? It made my heart sink just thinking about it.

The trip home was odd. I don't really know how else to describe it. Axel helped me home, of course, along with my parents. Jane – my mom – drove home as my dad sat in the passenger seat. It still feels weird to call them "mom" and "dad". Is that weird? Anyway, Axel wouldn't stop talking the entire way. Surprisingly, my dad talked with him. Normally he kept things short with Axel. Not in a mean way, really, just short conversations. Tarzan actually _laughed_ and played along. It didn't seem like he'd laughed in a long time. It made me smile the entire ride home.

Once we got there, I didn't really want to get out of the car. The house looked like it was on its last leg. Not that it was old or anything. It just leans a bit to the right. It's painted with old looking blue with brown trim. I think it's cool because the entire way to the house, all the other houses looked so bland. What really caught me off guard were all the tropical looking plants growing all over the yard. They basically consumed the walking path to the door.

Axel helped me into my room and mom and dad started on dinner. It was a bit late for dinner, but Jane insisted. The inside was a little off. The house looked old, really old. But the majority of our furniture looked newer. It was a weird but a nice contrast.

I hobbled up the stairs, Axel carrying the one bag I had with me. It's sad that he knew the way to my room better than me. He walked into my room and set my stuff down. He said that I can "rediscover" my room later, whatever that means. Before turning to go back down the stairs, Axel grabbed my non broken arm. I turned to look at him and caught his eyes. He had this sad smile on his face.

"I'm glad you didn't die." He said. Before I could respond, Axel pulled me down the hall and down the stairs. I'm still a little confused, but that's ok. Right now I have more things to worry about. Like the monkey on the table.

No, really, there's a monkey on the kitchen table.

It's hard to eat when there's a monkey on the table. I mean, really. It keeps running up and down the table, jumping off and then leaping up onto my mom's shoulders. I stared at her with an open mouth. She stopped at mid chew.

"What?"

"Why is there a monkey in the kitchen?"

I couldn't help myself. This is just a little weird to have in a house. Then again, I don't remember too much, so I'm not one to talk. Jane let out a laugh as Axel, who was sitting across from me, smiled. Tarzan remained silent.

"I'm so sorry, I should have told you. As you can't remember, I work at the zoo with the gorillas and monkeys. This little fella here lost his mum, so until he's big enough to play with the others, he's going to stay here." She replied in a rush. At the end of her sentence, she gave the little monkey a wide smile. Axel just rolled his eyes.

"It sounds crazy, but you get in the zoo for free." Axel added. My head picked up just a bit.

"Really? Can we go sometime?" I asked my excitement hard to hide. Axel gave me another smile, but before he could say anything Tarzan spoke up.

"You can, but not until you're better. You just got out of the hospital and we worry about you." He said in his low voice. I sat back in my seat a little, pouting. He saw my face and frowned. It wasn't an angry frown or a frustrated one, either. He just looked sad. I feel bad for pouting now.

Tarzan put down his fork and stared at me. One hand reached towards me and rested on my cast. His hands were really warm and big compared to mine. I don't understand how he can be so tan and I can be so pale.

"Roxas, I want you to go, but I want you to go when you can fully enjoy yourself and not have to worry about your arms or your ribs or even your head. We just want you to be safe." My dad said softly. I stared at him for a moment before looking at Axel and my mom. They had the same look as my dad: big puppy eyes, sad mouths and upturned eyebrows. I almost burst into tears.

"Ok… maybe after school starts!" I exclaimed, trying to bring back a good mood. There was a collective sigh. Axel let out a laugh.

"Yeah, me and you will go and have a blast." He said with a smile. I wondered for a moment if his face ever hurts from smiling so much. I gave him a half-smile back.

"Tarzan, why don't you tell Axel what you do for work?" Jane suddenly said. I looked at my dad. He shifted in his seat a bit. I could tell it must be awkward to tell your seventeen year old son what you do for a living when I've lived here my whole life.

"I'm a stunt man. I also train other people to do stunts." He briefly explained. I didn't press any farther. I'm still not one-hundred percent sure what a stunt man does, but it sounds cool. I smiled at him.

"That's cool! Maybe you can teach me when my arms and ribs are healed!" I said a little too loudly. I heard Jane laugh a little. Tarzan smiled at me.

"Sure."

000

I'm currently standing in my room and it doesn't feel like my room. It feels like it should be Axel's, not mine.

After dinner, Axel did just as he promised: we went to rediscover my room. I hadn't seen it earlier, so it felt like walking to a whole new world. My smile faltered as we entered the room.

The first thing I noticed was the wall colour. It was this kind of bright blue that made the room look a lot brighter than it probably was. I had this big window with purple curtains. It didn't really match the wall but whatever. My bed was much too large for someone my size. The blankets were, too. I noticed this odd shaped lamp near my bed that had fish on it. It looked like they were swimming around. I had this looming dresser on the other side of my room with a desk next to it. It wasn't the biggest room in the world, but it wasn't the smallest. It was just right.

Aside from the furniture, there were posters all over the wall. I didn't take the time to read the bands on them, but most of the posters looked kind of scary. Others looked kind of lame. I'm not really sure what to make of all of this. I glanced over at my desk, noticing this tiny laptop shoved on it. I'm surprised there's enough room for it; there's so much stuff on there.

"So, what do you want to know about your room first?" Axel suddenly said, bringing me out of my observations. I looked at him. He was standing in the middle of the room while I awkwardly stood by the door.

"I think… I think I want to learn it on my own." I replied. That thought hadn't of even come to mind. Axel's smile faltered a bit, but before I could say anything he turned around and plopped down on the bed.

"Alright, alright. Fair enough. Is there anything else I can get you caught up on? School starts in just over a week, you know." Axel softly said. He didn't sound playful, he didn't sound serious. I don't know what kind of emotion he had right now. I hate it when I can't tell.

"Well… I-uh, I dunno. Do I have any other friends?" I've been scared to ask. I've been scared to learn if I either have no friends other than Axel or if I'm super popular. I don't think I could handle either. Not that there's anything wrong with Axel. That'd just mean that I'm a social reject and there's something wrong with me.

"Of course you do! There's Sora – who, my god, won't stop asking about you -, Riku, Kairi, Namine, Hayner, sometimes Seifer, Olette, Pence, Xion, Demyx, Zexion. There's more, but that's probably all you need to worry about right away. Everyone else either doesn't go to that school or doesn't go to school at all. You'll see them eventually." Axel said at a steady pace. My head is swimming now.

"Can you make a list or something of these people? I don't want to forget anyone's name." Axel laughed at me. I scowled.

"You've already forgotten, dummy! But yeah, I'll make a list. I'm staying here tonight anyway." Axel shot back. I gave him a confused look and tried to choose my words carefully.

"Aren't you bored of me?" I asked in a quiet voice. I think I made that question sound a lot sadder than I intended to. Axel stopped his laughter, his smile completely washing away. He sat up a bit, his red hair flat now from lying on the bed. Axel's hard green eyes stared into my soul. Well, that's what it felt like.

"Roxas, we're best friends. That means I will never get bored of you. I'm here because you're all fucked up and without someone here, you'd probably freak out. I know you better than yourself right now, so I'm going to do what you would normally want me to do. I'm going to be here."

He stared at me the entire time talking, not blinking once. I couldn't help but stare back. It was like watching a train accident or something. It felt like, for a moment, he was scolding me for asking such a stupid question. But he's right. Without him here, or anyone for that matter, I'd probably freak out and cry again. And god knows I'm tired of crying.

"Ok…" I trailed. I couldn't really think of anything else to say at the moment. Axel got up from the bed and walked over to my desk. I raised an eyebrow as I fully entered the room for the first time and closed the door.

"What're you doing now?"

"Playing some music. We need to get you back into the groove before school starts." Axel replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I huffed to myself and I sat down on my bed. The blankets under me made it feel lumpy. Axel turned back to me after a moment. A second later, music was pouring out of some speakers sitting by my laptop. I hadn't of even noticed them until the music started.

"So, is there anything you need to know?" Axel questioned with another smirk on his face. He had his hands on his hips, his clothes hanging off of him loosely. I couldn't help but think that he looked really amazing right now, but I chose to not ask him how he gets that way.

"Yeah, I think so."

000

"So Riku and Sora are dating, right?"

"Correct. Got it memorized?" I ignored him.

"And Xion hangs out with us a lot?"

"Yes sir."

"And Demyx and Zexion are dating?"

"Ha!" He actually said ha, "In Demyx's wildest dreams. Demyx dates around a lot and Zexion is the only person that's never taken notice to him."

I frowned. This group of friends sounds way too confusing to be real. As Axel put it, it can sometimes be a "soap opera". I don't remember what that it, but it sounds scary and I don't want my life to be like that.

"This is confusing." I pouted as I fell back against my bed. I let out a small groan as my sore ribs connected with the mattress. I could feel the red head smiling at me from the floor.

"Yeah, but this is years and years of friendships with some of these guys. Some of it won't make sense unless we go way back to the beginning." Axel slowly responded. I sighed with another groan as I sat up again. It took everything in me not to scream as my ribs pressed against my skin. God that was a dumb idea. I fixed myself on my bed, lying down by the wall. I suddenly felt really tired. Probably from all the weird things today.

"Where are you going to sleep, Axel?" I called out. I wasn't sure if he heard me or not. I turned on my side just a bit to see Axel getting in the bed next to me. My face flushed, heat engulfing my head. He turned his back to me.

"I'm going to sleep right here. I'll be right next to ya if you need anything." I heard him say. I curled myself into as tight of a ball as I could without hurting myself (which wasn't very tight). I suddenly felt all panicky as Axel turned the fish lamp off.

"Axel?"

"Yeah, Roxas?" He sounded sleepy, too. He must be tired, spending all his time in the hospital. Never once saw him sleep or nap while I was there. It suddenly made me feel really bad.

"We're still gonna go to the zoo, right?" I feel childish for asking, but I want to make sure. I want to make sure it's not a false promise. I don't know why I need to know it's not, but I do. I heard Axel snort.

"Of course, Roxas. I got it memorized." I could hear the smile in his voice. It made all of my worry wash away.

I smiled before drifting off to sleep.

LLLLLLLLLL

Oh my god, I just powered that chapter out in about two hours. Really. I know it's kind of short, but continuing on with it would have made it run into the next chapter. It's a tad bit confusing with Tarzan and Jane. I know that he flip flops between calling them mom/Jane and dad/Tarzan a lot, but that's just because he's not really comfortable with it yet, I guess. Anyway, please let me know what you think! It was done in a short amount of time, but I've been putting a lot of thought into this story.


	3. Far Off Memory

A/N: I've been in a bit of a weird mood the past few days. Creative Writing really does not help when I want to write fan fiction. All I can think about in that class is writing fan fiction. And that doesn't work well for a high school class, does it? Anyway, my moods have been bouncing up and down way too much lately to focus on school, so I'm going to use what little energy I have to write this. Thank you everyone that read/reviewed so far! It really does mean a lot. Please let me know what you think!

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As of right now, I'm not really sure what to think of school. So far it's been a big clump of confusing and it's only been a few hours.

Axel picked me up from school this morning. It wasn't really "picking" me up since he doesn't have a car. I asked him why he didn't. I clearly remembered him saying that he had a license. He just smiled at me and told me he needed the money. The way he said it told me he wasn't telling the truth. I didn't press it though.

As soon as we got to the high school, people swarmed around me. Of course I didn't remember a single face. A few seemed familiar, like Sora and Riku. Sora came sprinting up to me, crying and screaming about how much he missed me. The poor kid tried to hug me, but Axel stopped him. I ignored their half heated bickering as I stared at Riku. He looked at me with such a cold stare. I chose to ignore him as Axel pushed me through the halls to my first class.

It started out alright. I just found a seat to sit in and kept to myself through first period. It wasn't until second that things started to get a little crazy. I found my second class, English, and sat down in the back again. Two people came laughing in and eyed me.

"Roxas!" One of them shouted. I looked up. It was a girl with brown hair that flipped out a bit. Her bright orange shirt hurt my eyes. The boy standing next to her had blonde hair that spiked upwards. His camouflage pants hurt my eyes, too.

"Um...?" That was all I could say before the girl came running over to me. She put her hand on my head and ruffled my hair a bit as she sat down next to me.

"Woah, why'd you only shave a little patch? Didn't you say you'd never shave your hair anyway?" She said a little loudly. The boy that had been next to her slowly walked over to us. He sat down in an empty seat in front of us. The look on his face told me that something really bad was about to happen.

"Olette, I-"

"Why aren't you saying anything, Roxas? I was only gone for two months. It's not like you forgot me or anything." She laughed. And there's that sinking feeling I was dreading. The boy sitting in front of us appeared to have the same feeling as his face fell even more. Olette – that's a name Axel listed for me – stopped laughing. She looked between us.

"Olette, I couldn't get a hold of you, but-"

"I was in an accident. I can't remember anyone."

Does my voice normally sound that harsh? It almost sounded like I didn't care. I hope I didn't sound like that before. Olette stared at me with wide eyes for a minute before she burst into laughter. The other boy and I obviously saw no humour in this.

"That's a mean joke, Roxas! You're such a kidder, isn't he, Hayner?" She loudly said. Hayner – another name that Axel had listed – didn't look at her. He kept his eyes on me. It made me shift in my seat a little. God, when is the bell going to ring?

"He's not kidding." He slowly said. I think the seriousness of the conversation finally caught up with Olette. Her laughter stopped, her face faltering. Her bright smile faded into a tiny "o". I shrunk back in my seat and glanced at the clock. Only one minute until the bell rings for class to start.

"What?" Olette quietly said. I think she was talking to herself more than she was to us. Hayner's eyebrows turned upward, matching his frown. I glanced at Olette. I tried to find the right words to say, but nothing came to mind.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled to her as the bell rang. By now the class was flooded with excited students. Olette slumped against her seat, the same bewildered expression on her face. She didn't even look up when the teacher came in and started talking. I shot Hayner a look. He tried to smile at me but it looked painful.

I sighed as I looked away from him. This day is going to be hard.

000

"Wow, she took that worse than I thought."

"Axel, I'm really freaking out right now."

It was currently lunch. Axel and I found an empty spot in the hallway to eat. I had wanted to eat in the lunch room, but Axel said I needed a break from people. I think he did, too, but I didn't say anything. I told him what happened with Olette. I tried to talk to her after class, but she just walked away.

"I don't know, man, girls are confusing. She can't really be mad at _you_. It's not like you wanted to be hit by a car." Axel said. He wasn't being very comforting right now and it's making me angry.

"I don't know what to do, Axel! I want to make things better but I don't know how. C'mon, you remember how me and her were before. Is there something that we did together that could make her feel better?" My voice sounded so desperate. Almost like a kid begging to go play with friends. Axel scrunched up his face in mock thought and hummed to himself.

"Well... you guys used to hang out everyday after school in middle school. Then when you guys were freshies, she joined the soccer team. So you don't really do that anymore. Nowadays, you guys just passed notes back and forth to each other." Axel replied between mouthfuls of his lunch. A wide smile came across my face.

"Axel, that's it!"

"I know! Let's have a soccer game with the kid who just had brain surgery!" Axel shouted. He laughed as my face fell a little.

"No, you psycho. A note! I can write her a note instead of talking to her face-to-face. That'd be too awkward. This is the best plan ever!" I exclaimed. I took a happy bite out of my sandwich as the red head stared at me.

"You know... that's actually a really good idea." Axel mumbled. I smiled at him as I wiped some crumbs off my face.

"Well, duh, I came up with it." Axel laughed.

"Whatever. You better get started on that note. There's only two classes after lunch."

000

"_Olette,_

_I'm sorry about second period. I should have more of an effort to make sure you actually knew about the accident. I just assumed that everyone did. If I could have remembered you leaving for your trip, I would have tried harder. So I'm sorry. I hope you're not mad at me or anything. That would really suck because I want to remember our friendship. I'm trying really hard. It actually made me happy that you weren't treating me like I was fragile or anything (even though you didn't know). So, where am I going with this? I don't know. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I hope you're not mad at me. _

_Roxas." _

I only read over it once before neatly folding it up. The bell for sixth period to end was going to ring any second. I had fifth with Hayner and he told me that Olette hangs out by the parking lot after school for her mom. He asked me why I needed to know that. I couldn't respond.

The bell rang and I sprung up from my seat. I rushed down the hall, fighting my way through kids much bigger than me. Finally, outside, I power walked the rest of the way to the parking lot. I want to give this to her today.

I came to the parking lot. I glanced around wildly for her. After a moment, I caught that horrendously bright orange shirt of hers. She was standing off to the side by herself. I broke into a steady jog.

"Olette!" I yelled when I got closer. She looked up at her name. When she saw me, she looked right back at the ground. I almost stopped jogging at that. Can she really be angry at me for something I can't help? I pushed that thought aside as I stopped right in front of her.

"What?" She quietly asked. I shoved the note in her face, suddenly angry.

"I know you must be mad at me or whatever, but I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm sorry for, but hopefully this makes things better." I replied. It took everything in me not to scream from nerves and my own anger. Olette looked up at me. Her eyes looked glossy. Like she was ready to cry.

"I'm not mad at you."

"What?"

"I'm not mad at you. Ok, well, maybe a little a first. But I'm not now. That'd be dumb." She replied. I just stared at her, dumbfounded.

"You're not?"

"No, I'm not. Thank you for the note anyway, Roxas." She smiled at me as she took the note from my hand. In that moment, as she was staring at me with that smile, holding the note in her fingers, something flashed across my brain. It was of Olette, but in a different place and time. She had that same smile, but instead of holding the note, she had an ice cream bar. Almost as quickly as it flashed, it went away. I stared at her for a moment before speaking.

"Yeah, no problem."

000

"I think I had my first memory today."

"Really?" Axel exclaimed. I laughed.

Axel found me in the parking lot long after everyone had left. He was angry at first, saying that he had looked all over the school for me. I think he was more worried than angry. I had just smiled at him and told I was fine.

For most of the walk home, I thought about that flashback with Olette. The more I thought about it, the more I decided that it was a memory. What else could it have been? I replayed it in my head over and over, secretly enjoying it. I had my first memory back. I don't want to forget it again.

"Yeah, I really did. I went to give Olette the note I wrote for her after school and I had a memory of her." I replied. I looked at Axel as I said this. At the mention of Olette, his smile faded just a bit.

"Really, of Olette? That's odd..." He trailed. I don't think he meant to say that last part out loud. I raised an eyebrow.

"Odd? How?"

"Well... we've been hanging out for two weeks straight and you don't remember anything about me. But you see Olette for one day and remember something weird about her." Axel replied. His voice sounded hurt, but his face remained calm. The more I stared at him, the better I could see his faint blush. I smiled to myself.

"Yes and no. When I talk to you about things, they seem familiar. It's like I'm almost remembering something, but then I don't. When I was talking to Olette and Hayner earlier – even Riku and Sora – things didn't seem as familiar. I don't know why, but they didn't." I said. I could feel Axel's eyes on me. It gave me goosebumps.

"I guess that makes sense, in some weird way." Axel quietly said. I suddenly became very sad, seeing Axel upset about me not being able to remember our past together. I began to panic about the other memories I still didn't remember.

"Axel, do you think I'll get all my memories back?" I suddenly asked. Axel scrunched his face in mock thought like he had earlier. I think he was trying to lighten the situation. It helped a little.

"It's hard to say. But, my god, I hope you do." Axel said. I think he was talking more to himself than he was to me. I looked at him with wide eyes for a moment. That familiar prickling feeling came in the back of my head, but no memories came forward. I sighed as I looked away from Axel.

"I hope I do, too."

LLLLLLLLLL

I know it's short, but there's not much else I can do without spilling over to the next chapter. I'm still not 100 percent sure what I'm doing at this point, but I do know how I want it to end. I hope that everyone is enjoying it so far! Please let me know what you think!


	4. Fun Fun Fun

A/N: I have no excuse for no updating this story. I really don't. I'm just lazy. I'm so glad that people seem to like this so far! Thank you everyone for the reviews and for reading this! I'm trying to move forward with this, I am. So, here's the new chapter! Let me know what you think.

This chapter was mainly inspired by "Demyx Time" by Parle Productions on YouTube. I've been watching that segment for some time now, and it makes me sad to see it end. So, while writing this chapter, I kept their interpretations of the characters in mind to help lighten the dreadful mood that this story has been in so far. So, please enjoy!

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Axel is asleep next to me. It makes me nervous, mainly because I can't stop watching him sleep.

It's been a couple of weeks wince I had that memory with Olette. Since then, I've been remembering loads of things. I've remembered meeting Sora and Axel, how Hayner and I have been friends for forever. I've remembered more about my family and how Axel is practically part of it. At one point, I even remembered a song that Demyx had wrote a long time ago. It sounds like a lot, but it's only been snippets.

The most I've been able to remember so far is anything involving Axel. The other memories aren't as clear. Almost like they aren't my own. But with Axel… those memories are clear. It's like I held them close to my heart and now I can't remember why.

Sadly, I haven't had a full memory yet, just pieces. Right now as I'm watching Axel sleep, I'm remembering other times that I've done this. They're just little flashes – him lying in a different position, a different shirt on, different expressions – but I want to hold them close, like I had before. The red head's soft snores drifted over me. I smiled to myself as I reached over and turned my fish lamp off.

"Roxas?" Axel sighed. He shifted around a little bit as he tried to wake up. I stifled a laugh.

"Wake up, sleepy head."

"What time is it?" Axel questioned, his voice still laced with sleep. I glanced at the alarm clock behind his head.

"Just past midnight. We're pretty lame for already being in bed on a Saturday night." I replied. Axel snorted, his eyes closing. He'll probably fall back asleep soon.

"Whatever, weekends mess up my sleeping schedule." Axel mumbled in response. I chose not to reply.

"Just go back to sleep."

"Why're you still awake?" Axel mumbled as he rolled on his side towards me. Thankfully his eyes were closed. I could feel a blush crawling on my face.

"Not really tired yet." I replied. Somehow, I managed not to stumble on my words. I heard the red head sigh as his body relaxed against the bed. It's not like I lied to him or anything. I really am not tired. So how come I feel like I _am _lying?

"Well, get some sleep soon, ok? We got a big day tomorrow…" Axel's voice trailed. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Like…?" I let my voice trail. I waited a few seconds for him to respond. When none came, I looked down at him. Axel's face had relaxed back into sleep. Soft snores came from him. I quietly laughed as I rolled away from him and let sleep take over.

000

"Roxas, Roxas! Wake up, lazy buns!"

I woke up to hysterical screams and something soft hitting me in the face. I felt the bed bounce up and down as my eyes snapped open. Frantically looking around, my eyes landed on Axel. He was standing above me, a pillow in hand, ready to hit me again. Before I had the chance to speak, he brought it down on me again, right in the head. I pushed him away as I sat up.

"Did you call me lazy buns?" I questioned. Axel's face tinted pink as his movements stopped.

"Um… that's beside the point! We've been too serious lately. So today, we're going to go out and have fun, ok?" Axel shouted as he jumped up and down again. I pulled myself into a ball to prevent him from stomping on me. I ran my hands through my hair as I glanced at the clock.

"Axel, it's only eleven."

"The earlier we start the better! C'mon Roxas, wipe that stupid serious face off and let's go have fun!" Axel yelled as he pulled me up from the bed. I let out a little yelp as my friend forced me to jump up and down with him. I have to admit, after a little while it was actually a lot of fun.

After a few moments of jumping around, we collapsed back onto the bed. A few laughs escaped me as Axel tried to catch his breath. I glanced over at him. The red head had this giant smile on his face, his eyes half open and bright. When I looked at him, I had a flash of Axel lying in a patch of grass with the same expression. The sun shone brightly around him. I blinked and the vision was gone.

"We better get going, sleepy head." Axel suddenly said. All I could do was nod my head in agreement.

000

I have to say; I'm having a lot more fun than I thought I'd be having.

After bouncing around for a while, Axel forced me to get dressed while he went and begged Jane to borrow the car. He still hasn't really elaborated on why he sold his car, but whatever. To my surprise, she didn't have a problem loaning it to Axel. We drove downtown, the red head looking panicked the entire way there. I decided not to say anything.

For a while, it was just me and Axel. We wandered around the shops and cafés, eventually drifting towards the small mall in the middle of it all. Axel dragged me into various stores and made me try on a hideous amount of clothing. I don't know why I agreed to it. Maybe it's because Axel seemed happy.

Finally, Axel led me to the food court. I wasn't really hungry, but Axel kept saying he was so I gave in. He kept looking around the food court and checking his phone every few minutes. It was driving me crazy.

"Axel, what's up with you? Are you expecting someone?" I asked with a laugh. Axel's face remained serious, making my smile falter.

"Demyx texted me earlier. Him and Marluxia are gonna meet up with us soon. Idiot thought it was about time you go reacquainted with Marluxia." Axel replied. My heart sunk, but I'm not really sure why. I mean, I like spending time with my other friends. I really do. But time with Axel just seems too important. That all too familiar prickling feeling came to the back of my head. It's like my brain _wants _me to remember something, but I can't.

"Axel, Roxas!" I heard someone scream from the other side of the food court. I wildly looked around for Demyx. I've already re-met the guy, so it wasn't hard to find him. He was sprinting towards the table, his arms flailing all over the place. I couldn't help but laugh as he crashed into Axel, nearly tumbling over in the process. After a minute, another person walked up to the table.

It had to be Marluxia. Axel's described him before. His flippy pink hair threatened to poke me in the face. Marluxia had this look on his face that told me he wanted to be anywhere but here. His oversized grey sweater didn't really match his dark blue scarf. But then again, who am I to judge? I still have a bit of a bald patch.

"Demyx, get off me!" Axel said as he pushed the blonde off of him. He sounded more annoyed than happy to see the two. Demyx sat down next to Axel, latching onto his arm. Marluxia reluctantly sat down next to me.

"Axel, I'm so glad you let us hang out with you today! Let me tell you, Marluxia has been such a bore lately. All he wants to do is redecorate the house." Demyx whined. Marluxia rolled his eyes at him.

"If you'd let me do what I want, there wouldn't be a problem. I like things to match, Demyx, you know that. With how things are, nothing matches and everything is too crowded. Besides-"

"Do you guys live together or something?" I shot in. Axel looked away from me and Demyx gasped. I looked between the three. Marluxia had this look of pure hate on his face. I shied away from him.

"Shut up, Roxas. I'm talking. As I was saying, it would be much easier to sell a bunch of the furniture that we don't use, but no. Demyx wants to save it all and use the wood to build something. And yes, Roxas, we do live together. I have to go touch my hair up." Marluxia snapped. I swear to god he said that all in one breath. He pushed himself up from the table and stalked off to the corner of the food court. Demyx snorted.

"That was pretty ballsy." Demyx said with a laugh. Axel rolled his eyes. I raised an eyebrow at the two.

"You never interrupt Marluxia, Roxas. It'll be the end of you. He's probably not making a big deal out of it because you can't remember him." Axel slowly said as he shoved some fries in his mouth. My eyebrows furrowed.

"I'll just apologize to him when he gets back." Demyx let out another wild laugh. I glared at him.

"Just forget about it. He's probably already forgotten about it." Axel replied. Before I had the chance to say anymore, Marluxia plopped back down at the table. His hair didn't look any different, but I chose not to say anything.

"Are we going to do anything? It's getting boring here." Marluxia drawled. I don't know how else to describe his tone besides 'drawled'. Axel shrugged his shoulders as he finished his French fries.

"I dunno. We could go back to my house if you want. My mom fixed the couch." Axel responded.

"What happened to the couch?" I asked. Before Axel could reply, Demyx threw himself forward, leaning over the table. He practically bashed his head into mine.

"It wasn't my fault, ok? I didn't break it!" The blonde screamed. I raised my eyebrows at him. Marluxia rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you did. There were already five people on it and you decided to throw yourself on it. You nearly killed Roxas doing it, too." The pink haired man shot back. Demyx relaxed back in his seat, pouting. Axel let out a half-laugh.

"Whatever, either way, it's fixed." Axel said between laughs. I couldn't help but smile. Demyx noticed my smile. I know he did because he pointed at me and had a wild smile of his own.

"He finally smiled! Look Marluxia, he smiled!" Demyx shouted. Marluxia didn't look.

"Calm down, Demyx. We don't want Roxas to have brain surgery again anytime soon, right?" Axel said with a mischievous smile. I felt my face pale at the thought. Demyx and Axel laughed at me. Even Marluxia had to smile.

"Come on, guys, let's go."

000

I gotta say, these guys are fun in their own way.

We all piled into my mom's car. It wasn't like it was a tight fit or anything. That car is just clearly designed for shorter people. Anyway, we clambered in and sped off to Axel's house. Thankfully, neither of his parents were home. I haven't had the chance to see them since the accident. Marluxia and Demyx walked right into Axel's house like they owned the place. I still feel awkward going over there, especially since I've only been outside.

Axel led us into his basement. It wasn't much – a few couches, a giant lounge chair, a table and a TV – but I enjoyed it. It felt comforting. Demyx went straight for the TV and turned on the Xbox connected to it. He grabbed the Band Hero video game and forced us all to play. Marluxia said something about not wanted to get his hands dirty and took the microphone. We played a few songs before Demyx got bored and decided on Grand Theft Auto.

"Axel, I'm thirsty." I said. Axel didn't look away from the TV screen.

"There's water upstairs. Marluxia can go with you." Axel replied. I felt my heart sink at that comment. Marluxia rolled his eyes as he pushed himself up off of the couch. I nervously followed him. I tried my best not to get too close behind him.

In the kitchen, the pink haired man went straight towards a random cabinet and grabbed two glasses. He shoved one at me before rummaging through the fridge for something other than water to drink. I chose to stay in the kitchen and drink my water, hoping that Marluxia would go back downstairs without me. Just my luck, he chose to stay upstairs, too. How awkward.

"Things are ok with Axel, right?" Marluxia suddenly spoke up. I almost dropped my glass.

"Y-yeah, why do you ask?" I stammered. God damn my nerves. Marluxia set his glass down in the sink.

"Just wondering. You guys haven't talk about the accident much, have you?" He asked as he looked at me. His eyes weren't cold, like they were earlier. Marluxia looked kind of… worried, I guess, in his own way. Maybe worried isn't the best word to describe it, but I can't think of another word at the moment. I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

"No, not really. Why do you ask?" I replied. Marluxia looked away from me, that odd expression disappearing.

"No reason." He answered. With that, he pushed himself away from the sink and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me there to ponder over his weird questions. I stood there, staring at the floor for a while. Why would Axel and I need to talk about the accident?

It's not like he's hiding anything from me, right?

LLLLLLLLLL

I know it's a whole lot of nothing. I started this chapter out feeling really awesome, but by the end I felt kind of depressed and not so good. So this is what I've got for now. I hope that you guys enjoyed it. I don't know how to interpret more than, like, three characters at a time, so I'm sorry if Demyx or Marluxia seemed out of character. Please let me know what you think! And I'm sorry it's so short.


	5. Who I Used To Be

A/N: Wow, I can't believe that I'm already starting on a new chapter for this. I should be working on my other stories, but I'm suddenly really motivated to work on this one. Anyway, thank you for the kind reviews! RoxyThoma took a good guess at the plot, so this chapter is dedicated to her for making such a good guess. :) Please let me know what you guys think!

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I can't stop thinking about what Marluxia said. It's starting to drive me a little crazy.

Marluxia and Demyx left long before Axel and I did. Demyx said something about band practice. I don't think he has a band, but whatever. They left and it was just Axel and me. It was kind of awkward at first. I couldn't stop staring at him. It's like whatever Marluxia said had me fixated on the red head for the rest of the day. The more I watched him, the more flashes I had. Mainly just us hanging out in the basement, talking about random things at different times. Sadly, there hasn't been a full memory yet. That part is making me angry.

Eventually, we made our way back to my house. I told Axel that he shouldn't spend the night since it's a school night, but he ignored me. He said he left all his stuff at my house and besides, he _did _have my mom's car. And it's not like I can drive it home; I'm still recovering from freaking brain surgery. Axel and his stupid logic. This was all last week, actually. I just felt like I needed to fill in that day.

Since then, I've been having more flashes. I don't know whether to call them flashes or memories. They're not complete memories, but I guess they're more than a quick glimpse. I've been talking to Sora a bit more this past week and even hung out with him once. I keep having memories about how I treated him in the past. A mean sentence here, cold responses there, and I don't think I like it very much. The more I start to remember about myself, the less I like it. I don't know.

It's really starting to drive me crazy how little I can remember.

000

"Roxas, man, you ready for this?" Demyx screamed in my ear. I tried to pull away from him. I agreed to come over to his house after school with Axel, not be assaulted by my friend. Axel just stood in the corner and stifled a laugh.

"Ready for what?" I managed to say after a moment. I don't like breathing on people so it was hard to respond without exhaling all over Demyx. Demyx's grin grew.

"Winter break, of course! It's just around the corner! Only a month away!" Demyx shouted as he let go of me and did a twirl. I raised an eyebrow and glanced at Axel. He shrugged.

"What's so important about winter break?" I questioned. The blonde jumped up and down with too much excitement. Sometimes I think he's a five year old stuck in a nineteen year olds body. I wonder how he got past high school.

"It's when we take our super awesome epic trip to my dad's cabin! It's not that big, but we jam-pack people in there and just chill and hang out and do stuff!"

"Demyx, I'm pretty sure 'chill' and 'hang out' mean the same thing." Axel said with half a laugh. Before Demyx could respond, I spoke up.

"Do we do this every year?" I asked a little too loudly. Demyx must have taken that as excitement because he started to jump up and down again. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, we've been doing it for a few years. If I remember correctly, you were the one that really pushed for it, Roxas." Axel replied. I stared at him with big eyes. Demyx nodded his head. It looked like he was head banging, he was doing it so fast.

"Axel's right. You really pushed for it, Roxas. I tried to get you to tell me exactly why, but all you'd tell me was it'd be fun. Now if you could only remember! I've been dying to know for, like, four years!" Demyx shouted. He did this overdramatic thing, putting his hand on his forehead and looking like a damsel in distress. I saw Axel hold back a laugh.

Demyx continued on with whatever he was talking about, Axel speaking up every now and then. I think he was talking about Winter Break or something, but I couldn't really focus on him right now. I had to agree with Demyx; I want to know why I pushed for that vacation, too. Eventually, my eyes caught Axel's. His bright green eyes stared into my soul for a few seconds before he looked away, a hint of a blush on his cheeks. I could feel a blush creeping onto my own face. Demyx seemed oblivious to the whole thing because he kept talking.

I don't know why I wanted that vacation way back when, but I have a feeling it was about Axel.

000

"Roxas, stop moping about it. It's not like you were a _total _ass."

"That's not the point…"

Axel scoffed at me as he threw another notebook in my direction. I don't know if he was really reading them or not. I kind of hope not because I sound like a total jerk in all of them. I stared at the notebook Axel had thrown for a second before picking it up. A sigh escaped me as I opened it.

Winter Break, only two weeks away. The closer it got, the more excited I was for it. But, the more impatient I became about it, the meaner I was to everyone around me. I wasn't trying to be mean or anything and I wasn't even in a bad mood. I tried asking Axel about it and all he had to say was that I was just being more like myself.

After that, I started to remember more about my personality before the accident. Moody, snarky, sarcastic, and pretty much bipolar. I thought maybe, at first, it was just me being stupid and making up a conclusion. But one day at lunch I asked Sora what I was like before.

"Pretty much the opposite of how you are now. Now you seem somewhat happy and driven towards something. Before, it was just… I dunno…" Sora let himself trail because I think he saw the look on my face. After he said that, I wasn't really hungry anymore.

Axel didn't have much to offer, either. He actually seemed kind of embarrassed when I asked him how I used to be. But he came up with the idea of finding all my old notebooks – Axel said I used to write stuff in them – and read through some of them. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I'm awkwardly sitting on my bed, reading through my old thoughts and starting to hate myself.

"Roxas, don't think about it too much, ok?" Axel suddenly said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I stared at the notebook in my hand, not really reading it. I groaned before flopping myself back onto my bed. I couldn't see him, but I'm sure Axel rolled his eyes at me.

"But Axel, are you reading these? They're so mean!" I shouted. Axel stood up from the chair he was sitting in. I glanced at him, realizing he was standing by my bed now. He sighed as he sat down next to me.

"Who cares, Roxas? They're your private thoughts-"

"I care, Axel! Some of these are just horrible! Like this one about Marluxia. It keeps talking about how arrogant he is and how he needs to cut all that hair because it makes him look too girly. And this one here! All it says for a page and a half is how annoying Demyx is and how he needs to grow up. A _page and a half, _Axel." I said in what felt like one breath. As I spoke, I sat up, flipping through one of the notebooks near me. I shoved it in Axel's face when I was done speaking. He took it from me, slowly looking over them. Based on the pace that he read it, I don't think he's ever read it before.

"Yeah, these _are _a little mean, but you're entitled to an opinion. Marluxia can be arrogant and Demyx can be pretty annoying." Axel mumbled. He closed the notebook and set it down next to me. I rolled my eyes at him.

"But I don't think that! At least, not anymore. I don't think Marluxia is arrogant and Demyx is far from annoying. I actually find Demyx pretty funny." I hotly replied, crossing my arms over my chest and turning my head away from the red head. It was quiet for a moment before I heard Axel chuckle. I turned back to him and glared at him.

"Really? You really don't think that Marluxia is arrogant?" Axel asked with another laugh. I felt my face get twenty degrees hotter. I was blushing because I know I'm lying, but I'm also blushing because Axel's laugh is pretty amazing.

"Well… ok, whatever, you caught me. But I was being honest about Demyx." I shot back. Axel just let out another laugh. I couldn't help but smile after a minute.

His laugh is contagious.

000

"Hey Axel?"

"Yeah, Rox?"

_Rox_. That's the first time he's called me that. I don't know if I like it or not, but it made me smile. I glanced at Axel, trying to get my nerves straight.

The rest of the day was spent looking through the notebooks, listening to music, and poking fun at each other. Even though it was a Monday night, axel wanted to stay over again. For some reason, Jane and Tarzan have no problem with this. They're pretty lenient, as far as I can tell. They hardly say "no" to anything. Anyway, now Axel and I are trying to sleep on my bed. Axel doesn't seem to be having that much of a problem falling asleep, but my thoughts are keeping me awake.

I can't stop thinking about Winter Break. I really want to know why I wanted to go so bad back then, even though I have a feeling it was about Axel. And while we were looking through some of my notebooks today, I kept finding little musings about how great Axel was – how much I liked his laugh, his smile, how kind he was, how amazing he was, how I loved just hanging out with him. Thankfully, I hide these from him. Unless he found some on his own. Either way, he didn't say anything about it. But it only increased my curiosity for the past.

"I, um… I dunno, I've just been thinking about Winter Break, is all…" I trailed. Axel rolled over on his side, facing me. He was suddenly very awake. Or maybe he was completely awake the entire time and was just pretending. Or maybe I'm just being weird. I tried my hardest not to look at him.

"What about it?" Axel asked.

"Well… I dunno. I've just been thinking about what Demyx said… about me really pushing for it way back when… I guess-I guess I was just wondering if you knew why I pushed for it…?" I stammered. That was a lot more than I intended to say, but oh well. I looked at the red head. His eyes were half open, but somehow he looked alert.

"Let's see… this was four years ago? Back when we were freshmen… If I remember correctly, you said it was an excuse to spend more time with me." Axel replied. Now I had to force myself to not look at him. I could feel the blush crawling up my neck onto my face, it was so hot. I could still feel Axel's eyes on me.

"Is that right?" I mumbled. I heard Axel laugh.

"C'mon, Roxas, let's go to bed." Axel said, still laughing. I wanted to hit him for laughing at something that really wasn't funny. It was more embarrassing than funny. I rolled over on my side facing him. I frowned as he continued to laugh.

"Axel?"

"Yeah, Roxas?" Axel replied almost immediately. Sometimes I think he can read my thoughts. I hope that he can't because that'd be really awkward and embarrassing.

"Did you-? Never mind, it's stupid." I stopped myself. I moved to roll onto my other side, but before I could move, Axel wrapped his arms around me in a giant bear hug. His body pretty much engulfed mine. I'm pretty sure he can feel my blush now, too, because my face is pressed awkwardly close to his chest.

"It's not stupid if it's bothering you." Axel said. It sounded like it should have been a profound statement or something. I sighed as I pushed him away enough for me to breath. I tried to gather my thoughts again.

"It _is _stupid because I worry too much, but whatever… I just – I don't know. The person I was before, was he likable? I mean, after reading all this stuff today I'm amazed you hung around for so long." I said a little too quickly. I felt Axel breath in deeply. His arms tightened around me for a second before they relaxed.

"Roxas, I like every single thing about you…" Axel mumbled. I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. I backed away from him slightly and looked up at him. His eyes were closed and soft snores were coming from him. I guess one person can only handle so many emotional talks. I smiled before rolling onto my side, facing away from the red head.

F he had stayed awake, I would have told him I like every single thing about him, too.

LLLLLLLLLL

I'm sorry this is a whole pile of shit on paper. I forgot what was going to happen half way through, so I just made something up as I wrote. And I can't write any more without it going into the next chapter. I promise the next one will be longer! Thank you everyone who read this. Please let me know what you think!


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